Some asshole invented stretchy nylon stockings that make me want to die.

Have you ever worn tights? These hellish, stretching bindings wrap around the lower half of your body in order to cover your tempting, devilish appendages. But nobody ever discusses how the waistband crushes into my torso just above my internal organs as they squirm and squeal in irritation. I’m wrapped up nice and tight like a gift ready to please. What’s the point of these fat-quelling beauty traps? Fucking nothing but sexual gratification and socially acceptable medieval torture, probably.

[Written November 28th, 2016]


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