He worshipped me. You worshipped me, Adam. I brought you to your knees and you breathed confessions into my skin. I often mused that I was your queen, that I had some part in your rule. I will not say it again, but I was vastly mistaken. I am not quick to admit fault. I am no King David; I will not beg and plead forgiveness to a God who has forsaken me. I really thought that I was your new religion. When, in reality, I was your corruption. You could not leave me be, you could not let go of what did not belong to you. You are no Pope, and I am no Vatican. I am not some ornate architecture to be admired and used to ruins. I am no Rome, for you cannot burn me to the ground.
So here I shall stay. Like Enoch, I will disappear. I shall lay in wait for your ruin. Lucifer, sweet angel, my mourning star, has paid the price for his passion. His price will not buy anybody’s salvation but my own. For, without his trespasses, I would still be at your cruel mercy. Mankind is a plague. We who were created with the heavens are not of the same make, no matter how much he wanted it to be as such. Even when that frail creature was given to you, Adam, still you set her aside. You were greedy; foolish. Like Solomon you desired so much more than you could possibly comprehend. But I am not for you. The things of the sky and the stars are not for you. You and your children and your children’s children will stare up at the sky with a hunger that cannot be placated. This is my revenge.
I shall sit back and enjoy this, I promise. Lucifer is stubborn and foolish and cannot sit idly by as he is forced to watch the ruining of the world. He has become so bitter and jaded that he cannot see the fate he is creating for himself, once again taking charge of his destiny. Our kind did not fall. Heavens, no. We jumped. I dove into the arms of Eden as Artemis plunged into her forest pools to bathe. When Actaeon stumbled upon Diana, in her pure stature, he suffered the price. Adam, too, then, will suffer. For you came upon me like Hades upon Persephone and raped me of all the stars I possessed. Now all I have is shadow. I am the black space between the lights, the darkness that promises a sinister end.
I am not Lucifer. I never loved a human. I am Lilith, a goddess in my own right. I am my own deity; subject to a vain idolatry that I will forever take joy in. Like Narcissus, I am bound to my fate, but I am all the happier for it. I am the mother of demons, and Adam is the father. My children were not meant for darkness. No, they were thrown into the abyss by Adam’s vice grip upon my innocence. I was once a shimmering diamond, a lily of the valley. This cruel God may have confined me to another fate, but I am forever damned that I will not waste away. I am everything Eve could not be.
[Written December 4th, 2014]