PINK/RED

Everything turns all rose and blush when you slide a pair of glasses up the bridge of my nose. My annoyance and the cramp in my left asscheek is forgotten when I look from the dashed lines in the road to your technicolor face. You’re glowing and shifting against the seatbelt and the endless desert in the window behind you and I’ve never understood something so infuriatingly lovely.

[A part of The Color Series]

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YELLOW/GOLD

Honey red hair doesn’t splay over the down pillow with any particular beauty. Rather, it sticks to her eyelashes and catches the light snores from her nose. I stare at imperfect skin, enjoying the rosy patches in tandem with the mustard colored lace she fell asleep in. Everything feels like sunlight in the early morning, curled up in a windowsill while I wait for the beginning of something grand.

[A part of The Color Series]

BLUE/BLACK

Your peeling walls swim in my vision, black in a pool of something rough. The shift in imagination from child to adult from blue to black to nothing until we’re left staring at a milky and confusing here and now. The waves of tangled bedsheets pull me back to blue back to your spine back to this.

[A Part of The Color Series]

Carnations

After you touch me,
my entire body blossoms.
I vomit up rose petals, soil.
My skin radiates spring.
Persephone has invaded my skeleton,
coaxing fertility and something fresh
and untouched by man’s cold
and callous hands.
I turn from girl to god,
to willow, to birdsong
in the early glow of morning.
I awaken at the touch of Demeter,
eyes wide and mouth open
with the call of a kit
mewling for her mother.
My limbs groan and crack
and I am my own.

[Written February 10th, 2017]

Thoughts on Moonlight

To touch and be touched, to see and be seen, to ache as the water allows me to. The water calls my name and I’m not sure which me she’s calling to. Palms and sand and heavy breathing beneath a plaid shirt. I have so much love to give but I don’t know how and I don’t share it with myself so I plunge my head beneath the ice and pray that someday I’ll know my name. Feeling and knowing and believing that I am one way, the way I was created to be. Storms and rough seas but I find a way to float. You touched me once and I bloomed and now I cannot breathe in my own skin.

[Written April 3rd, 2017]

Millennial Love Story Pt. 2

She invited me up to her office once. It was an old, derelict building full of library smells and old coffee stains on desks. She was grading papers, so I sat at the empty desk and drew pictures of her without thinking too hard. When she asked what I was drawing, I felt my face flush and quickly snapped my sketchbook shut. She just shrugged and for once I was wishing my life was more like a film and she had taken it from me.

[Written December 15th, 2016]

What Happened

(Full disclosure: I kissed somebody else. Then, I had a few drinks and listened to Lemonade.)

I realized that I forgot what it means to feel safe when somebody holds me. I was wrapped up in him and me and you were so far from my mind. I can finally see the sky and you aren’t there anymore. Thank goodness.

[Written December 10th, 2016]